90mph

Have you ever seen a road so straight and so long and so so barren that you don’t see anything along the horizon? Well I saw one such road and imagined driving here @ night would make me shit in my pants.
Anyway, US is supposed to have many such roads and hence these guys have a solution for driving on these roads. Cruise!!! You reach a certain speed and press a button and the speed is maintained at that automatically. When you see this in normal city traffic one would say what an absurd waste. But then when you read a sign board saying; “Next Gas after 150 Miles” these things become justified. Well now coming to the roads and the location. As many of you who would read this will know, I had been to the Sin City… can’t blog about that, I am getting married!!! So we get such a road when we go from Las Vegas to Area 51(We were almost there). Straight roads and deserts all around you. You feel, are we in Earth or in Mars?? Only the gravity makes you realize that yes you are still on Earth. Speed Limits on these roads are a whopping 75mph (~121mph). If you don’t use the cruise, you will not know and you reach 90mph (you guys can convert that). This should give a kick right? Driving so fast… Well No sir… It was one of the most boring drives of my life… Nothing to see, bad music (courtesy a fellow traveler) and I almost dozed off writing this… So now I can say negating the general cliché, “Driving @ 90mph is boring”…
So people who drive in India, guys you are best. We might not have the best roads or the best cars but definitely we have the best drivers and not to mention the truckwalas who always keep our drives interesting…

SMILE OK PLEASE

I am walking down the road to office for the first time. Street name some damn Ave. As I step on the office pathway, I get a big grin from a person walking past me. Now what am I supposed to do. This is my first day in US ain’t it? How does this big huge gentleman know me… But I smile back just out of courtesy. Maybe he must have seen my photo somewhere. But where????

uff.. I enter the building and finally reach my floor and my desk with a sigh of relief wondering what did I do? Why is everyone recognizing me and smiling at me? Is my photo being put up on some kind of notice board or something with my name saying this is the new bakra from India?… I was like… OMG!!! So I go to one of my colleagues and ask him about this. He can’t control his laughter… He laughs for 5 min, putting me through the same kind of pain again but more intensified… One person I actually know is laughing… Once the expression of LOL stopped, he explains to me that this is very common in the US of A that people just smile at you and you are supposed to smile back. I was like.. Gosh.. Why??? There was no real answer you know… Courtesy, Chivalry, Culture..(So many C’s) came up as reasons… I thought what the F let me add another C to it.. This is some Chugiri (I hope you guys know this.. else mail me will tell you) that I have to do..  So I start to smile back at all people… Its kinda fun you know… You can smile and say Hi to any one… I mean.. Think of the times when you wanted to catch the smile of a pretty girl in the lift, and she doesn’t give you any damn ghaas… Welcome to US of A. You can smile at all those beautiful girls in the lift and they will smile back and more wish you a good day!!! So much for the Cgiri… I started enjoying… Flip side, yes you have smile at everyone… You will find people saying Namaste…You have to greet them too.. and you know none of them! Come on…Do we go and say “Yo Man, Howz you?” and all… No right…We just say “Hi”… then whats all this Namaste stuff… But I have to admit even though it’s awkward, it’s kind of good to see people try to understand our way of saying hi…

This was just one of the many surprises I have had here… These guys walk on the right, drive on the right etc etc.. That’s all ok… But then you know what, there is no Ground Floor here!!!  That was a shocker you know… I come into the hotel to checkin late night at 12… The front desk guy gives me the key and all and says, your room is on the second floor.. Room 366… So I walk along with 2 huge bags and try to find a 2 storied building in vain… Finally the guy shows up and points at the direction of the room… Funny yeah but true…

I have learnt things quicker than I thought… I can drive in US, am practicing the floor system, trying to understand the maps here, also cultivating the habit of walking on the right(you walk on left and you will surely bump into someone!!!) and above all I am smiling at all the people I meet….

SMILE OK PLEASE!!!!

Life is a bloody ironic bitch…

Life is a bloody ironic bitch… Just as you think you have got on top of it… It gives you a riddle that screws your confidence, screws your grey cells and what not… The eternal truth of life is death and this is the biggest irony.

One believes in God, thanks him when something good happens and prays when he wants something good. Then just like that one day God listens to all the prayers and gives something that has always seemed like a dream… The person gets so happy…He is on cloud 9… Flying… He is still catching his breath when God says, enough and a thing very precious that he already had is taken away from him… Now what?? How does he get out of that pit… Was he guilty of not appreciating what he had, or did he wish more or was he just being alive…

No idea… I guess life is a step by step process… One Step at a time that’s the only way out of this pit I guess. As one takes these steps, the thoughts that come to his mind test his attitude and character. Ones belief system and all the principles that have shaped him till now are all shaken and stirred too… Practicality says that one must not think about a problem that is not in your control and that every person will have to suffer the share that is destined… So we have to suffer…

But then suffering is a feeling right.. Why not stop feeling? Why not? Then you realize we are alive because we feel. Sometimes words just flow like this, out of feeling I guess…

I am at the brink right now. Brink of becoming a non-believer in the concept of God and still I pray and say “Please God give me strength to fight this”…

As I said, Life is a bloody ironic Bitch….

Dead Phantom

Best of 2008

Year 2008 went by the fastest by all standards…My white board changed again this year… So the quantity of the cubicle art has noticeably reduced.. However what ever I could manage has been documented… Best of 2007 is still very fresh in my mind and already I am posting Best of 2008… This year really flew by in the blink of an eye…uff…. Check out some of my cartoons of 2008…

Nonsense Everywhere

As Usual, when I was streching a lot!! Such an expression has become a regular every year..

When things got of my hand

Anyone watched V for Vendetta!!

Some Random thought..

Ayn Rand is amazingly quotable..

After my resignation...

My last in SAP Labs!!!

My first in IBM.. Children's Day!!! hehehe...

An Evening of a Common Man...

Life of common people follow certain patterns... Mostly everyone falls into that pattern... These are driven by the events around them and the degree of the influence of these events...
Just check out one of these evenings....

Preeti: “This is ridiculous. How can they do this to us? How doesn’t the govt do something about it…”

Ganesh: “This is how it is… What can you and me do?”

Preeti: “Come on!! We vote.. you pay such a huge amount of taxes and don’t you think these guys should do something about it?”

Ganesh: “Ha Ha Ha… Yes I do. But…”

Preeti: “Think about it.. Today its mumbai tomorrow it might be Bangalore.. It might be one of us man… How do you take that…”

Harish from inside the kitchen: “Till that time… Drink Beer and have fun…Fun until Gun!!! Bad bad… ha ha ha”

Ganesh: “ Exactly..”

Preeti: “You guys are impossible.. Kuch bhi… How can you say that!”

Vaman: “This govt is napumsak man…They just cant do anything”

Ganesh unusually angry: “So what do we attack Pakistan.. Come on that’s not the solution.. What do you think the people there who will die actually have anything to do with this.. No right? And will you bloody go and fight there? Easily said than done! War is not always the answer… Guard the borders better.. That’s the solution not destroy Pakistan…”

Harish: “Food in another 15 min”

Ganesh: “The point is we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone… That’s the whole problem… Everyone thinks about himself…”

Harish: “Another glass? See..that is not bad… It is natural instinct…”

Ganesh: “No Enough yaar... I agree..”

Harish: “Come on.. People like us, the tax payers are also required as much as anyone else in the society.. The ones in the ‘comfort zone’!!”

Preeti almost in tears: “Something has to be done.. We have to do something”

Harish: “Abe.. Change the channel man… She us getting psyched up. Abhi ganga jamuna chalu ho jayega…”

Ganesh: “Ha Ha Ha… Abe channel change kar be…”

On some news channel on TV….

“Breaking News.. Three more bombs found….

One reporter…’This is a --- channel exclusive…Lets talk to a person who was holed up in Taj…Aapko kaisa lag raha hai….” Bla blab bla…

Harish: “Assholes… Change it dude”.

On some other channel an Ad is going on

“agar aap election ke din vote nahe kar rahe ho to aap so rahe ho”

Preeti: “We vote and this is what we get.. We have to do something about it..”

Harish walking back to kitchen: “Abe yaar.. Phir se chalu..”

Ganesh: “Thik hai.. we will do something… Why don’t you suggest what can be done…”

Preeti: “Something can be done na? Somebody must start.”

Ganesh: “ok.. Why don’t you take the initiative… Why don’t you do something haan…It is as I said easier said than done…”

Harish: “Food Ready..”

Vaman: “First good thing I have heard today!”

Preeti: “Anna data sukhi bhawa”

Ganesh: “Lets eat!!!”

Well, this is how it happens I guess. The life’s mundane things are much more important than all the chaos until you are caught in that. Can something be really done? I have stopped thinking.. I guess the best thing is do your bit… Vote? Well I am still in 2 minds about that… My little bit would be, whenever I see some slack in security in and around the places that I go, try to raise my voice and hope something is done.

"Hope" that might will keep us alive until we are killed....

, the most decorated single letter word! I oh, sorry before we establish the usage of this word let me replace it with me.. Me asked many people around what do they think about the word “I”.. Me got many responses… some funny, some dark and some interesting and some very clichéd too… Me even got a poem written on I…

I think therefore "I" am

I am the world.
Close your eyes and imagine a coffee mug.
Now go to cafeteria and pick up a coffee mug and keep it front of you.
Did the coffee mug match your imagination?
How much?
How did you recognize the coffee mug?
The concept of coffee mug and the actual coffee mug are different.
All that we know of world is the concepts of things.
So at a conceptual level you still have 'I' with a name, occupation, face, interests etc; etc;
But 'I' also the entity which perceives this and other objects.
Its 'I' which forms the world around you.


"I" am putting forward my views...when "you" ( actually "I" for you..for me its " you") :-)
"I" is a 9th letter ….one of very few vowels….
"I" is un avoidable in english communication, and its usually used when one referring himself/herself. But, using "I" some times misleading based on context of communication...also might conveys "one"s self-belief...again as I said most of the time context plays very important role . "I" often referred as "Egoistic" in spiritual world. Removing "I" from within is most important.
But,in modern era...we cant leave without using "I" , even though, looks like blowing our own triumph....!! bla bla bla… I feel nothing wrong in it....but, how precisely you put in "I" in your communication always most important.
I" conclude saying....rather asking what is "I", better we should ask "who am "I" ..??


To a remarkable degree the limitation in the personification of others is based on inappropriate and inadequate personification of oneself. Particularly troublesome are the inadequate and inappropriate personification of what can be refered to as 'stereotypes' which again reflect the the limitations in the personification of the self. Stereotypes reflect the inadequate and inapproproate elements in one's own self; thus all the special stereotypes are either poor imitations of ingredients in the personified self or even more inadequate in terms of providing a guide in life , they are not elements from the personification of the self.
I hope you can now relate to the concept of I as "the personification of the self" .


I - Pride if used in the correct way , becomes EGO if used constantly...


For me “I” means the following
1. First it is “Me”.
2. Then it is INDIA
3. Then it is Infosys.


I - The Force
And the Restraining Leash
I - The Love
And the Jealous Heart
I - The Dreamer
And the Cobwebs of Mind
I - The Actor
And the Puppet Strings on Arms
I - The Music
And the Feeling Unexpressed
I - The Beauty
And the Materialistic Eye
I - The Maverick
And the Fear of Alone

Overwhelming response haan… Me had to edit some part to suit the size and structure of this blog.. “I”, according to me is the strongest word translated in any language… We always fail to realize this.. “I”, means independent.. it means responsible.. it means to own… it means the force that drives this society. Without the I, the driving force; this world’s engine would be shutdown…
I am that’s why the world is…
Think about it…

This is Calvin Speaking...

“Hi my dear friends, I am finally back…”….
“Shut up… Who asked you to talk now… I have been doing that for almost an year now… let me do it for you again...”

Hi all, this is Calvin speaking… This fellow just put my one liners in front of you till today…Now its time for me to speak…
As you all know, I am the crooked part of his brain, actually his personified sarcasm… We had a great time together in his company something that spelled like SAP… But I must say he always kept me busy… In the years that we stayed in SAP…

“Let me tell this Calvin.. Please…”
“Hey, who’s been doing the talking till now,, Just see your previous blogs…”

Well, he is a very gluey customer mind you.. Anyway he is away reading his previous blogs.. I will be done by then… As I was mentioning before, we spent more than 2+ years in SAP and I had to move 3 white boards… The first one was in a building called RMZ just beside the SAP campus. It was a beautiful white board I must say… it was big and white…Yeah, it is.. Forrest Gump dialogue style… One movie that we watched together and many phrases from that move I did use when I spoke to you… Anyway, the first board was on the 4th Floor where this ass had joined a team full of mainly uncles… Initial days were tough… I was always skeptical to say anything in full blow… You never know the uncles.. Amrut also just managed to go by this team. Then came the cricket match organization. He capitalized and that jump started his social connection spree here… He started becoming pretty popular with his mailing styles and bold communications…
Then he was called to join some other team and we had to shift to 3rd floor… I came to know later that we had shifted to a team which has relatively younger people and thus Amrut had no problems connecting with them…This is the time when he let me completely free… Almost every second day I used to make a speech… Oh, I forgot about the white board.. It was big and white of course, but then it was more visible and some of my best expression were caught on this board… I really missed the board when we had to move to the new building facility that came up… It was very nice, but the white board was small and the walls pink… can you believe it Pink?? I mean who in the gods name would have suggested this color… Even god doesn’t have an idea I guess… Well by this time, our fellow had grown really bold… He had really slogged his ass off and attained a very good position in the team… The consequence, I become more political and more dry sarcastic… You can see the effects in the statements that I have made on the smaller screen… Even though the screen was small, I had my best time here… Here is where I saw Amrut transform into a good team player, a good listener [ Yeah…. I share your views, he never listens to anyone…], a decent politician and bla bla… I saw him lose his cool and regain it back… He learnt the importance of my words and started using them very well for his own good rather than waste it on some unwanted topic… That’s when you see me talk about really important and political stuff… It really helped in shaping his character in Sap and I am proud that I was really influential… He made some very pretty friends too because of me.. hehe.. Un real right… who would think the crooked mind would have so many takers… But friends, truth is stranger than fiction… So we were having a great time together… Suddenly it happened on day that he felt that he has to move on now… I have always failed to understand him, but then who doesn’t need a change. This small white board and the same babes and the comments were getting boring for me too… So finally he resigned… It was a great 2 years for both of us and we learnt a lot from each other… See you can see me a little less sarcastic.. hehehe….Its just my one liners I guess…
Anyway, I then stopped talking for some days. Maybe it was because of the fact his Boss was a little pissed that Amrut had resigned when he had lots of plans for him… So the first thing that he attacked was the fact that, how can Mr. Tadas spread “negativity” with his cartoons now that he has resigned… I was puzzled… He was a smart man… One of the very few people on the floor who could get my sarcasm… Well maybe that must be the reason… hehehe… Anyway… we shifted to another white board before we left.. But this was a very dirty board and Amrut spent almost 8 minutes cleaning it… Finally when it was clean, I didn’t feel like talking at all…

I was done with the SAP white boards now… Change is good as you can see above… Change is always good and lets hope this change also is fruitful….

He is coming back now… I will wrap up… See you again soon when I find a new big shiny white board….

Building in Nonsense

Imagine two people used to speaking in puns and masters of sarcasm trying to get the upper hand on a topic…. Hmmm… What it results is a conversation worth quoting despite being very less useful; just like all the great creations of the cryptic human brain that one may think of.
Well after the build up, now the conversation.

In the rest room:

“ahh… What a piss!! Anything you do with this is pleasure”
“It’s Ironic with a tinge of philosophy”
“Yeah, you are right”
“I mean, finally what is important is that. A glass of water, food, sex..”
“Ya, Basic instinct that’s what it is all about”
“Sheer Animal instinct is the word. That’s what finally keeps us happy….”

As they come out:

“But we end up thinking, creating philosophies after philosophies”
“ha ha ha… Well come to think of it, we have the power to..”
“What power?”
“…understand this, that animal instinct is what is needed and nothing else”
“Come on… The Irony as you mentioned starts with this”
“….”

In the lift:

“I mean, What’s ironic is that we have the power to understand that it’s the basic instinct that is all that is needed for one being and yet if we didn’t have that power to understand then again we would need the same”
“Yeah.. you are right… Just as they put it… Philosopher is the one who knows that it is no good and “hence” preaches it…”
“So long…”
“So long… See you in the new sun tomorrow”
“Yeah new Sun!!!”


<<<<<<>>>>>>

Well ladies and gentlemen, Life is definitely a pun and its up to one’s own will to take the best suited meaning of it….

Dead Phantom

R-32

“You took your bus pass?” asked his friend.
“Ya, See this”
“My gawd… It looks like another ID card na… R-32…”
“But it has my name also on this...”
“Ya… But that so small”
“Hmmm…”
…..
….
A train of thoughts started to run in his not so grey cells. Why was his name written on this ID in such small letters almost invisible? Maybe, they want to use this only as the ID and abandon the Photo Ids that they had. Maybe, they will give numbers to each person working in the organization to identify them uniquely and that will be only way of identifying one. Names will be immaterial.
Or maybe this is part of a bigger conspiracy… You never know... He couldn’t trust anyone; neither the government, nor the media or his others sources. All are biased in one way or the other and all have lied. The lie painted so beautifully that all have to accept it. Hmmm…
Ya it must be the government’s new initiative or conspiracy so to say. Maybe his worst nightmares or the best opportunities are coming to life. Individualism will seize to exist. All will think alike and will be identified alike. Spelled similar, called similar and hence there will be no discrimination.

We would hear conversations like…
“R-32, did you have your food?”
“Yes R-56 I am done with my food”

Roll calls will be taken like this…
“R-98”
“Present R-35”
“R-109”
“Present R-35”
….
Statements like. “What does your name mean?” would have no significance what so ever. The basic identifier “name” would become so indistinguishable that all the individualism would seize to exist. No thought of his own.

Everything cleverly thought about by a man or a group of men who want the ultimate power; a power beyond any imagination; a power never fathomed of….. The power on the thought process of the most complex computing thing ever conceived of, a human brain!!!

Is it really possible? Yes, it is with all the conditions being satisfied one by one; all things becoming so mechanical and methodical; with questions like “Its working fine that way. Why do you want to change it?” being asked more frequently…
Then he thought; would he be the one who would be that man… or be part of that group of those men? Why not? Power is sweet…

“Dude… What happened? Are you fine? We have a meeting with the architect now. Let’s go”
“Ya… Let’s go...” He was smiling to himself…
He thought aloud…
“Maybe it might happen one day”
“What?”…
“Nothing… Let’s go to the meeting…”

Best of 2007...

This is again the time of the year to look back on our achievements!!! Oopss... Inaction is not exactly a crime you know... So this is also the time of the year to look back on the socially useless activities which come tradionally under Inaction tree...

Funde bus.... Enjoy the cartoons... Let Calvin and Hobbess speak...

Before I go ahead, again I copy Bill's beautiful expressions and use my words to describe that expression to express what I am feeling at that moment!!! Thank you Bill for creating the best philosophers in Calvin and Hobbes!! Hats Off to you....

Notes: Life is short. Enjoy it.

Notes: Well what do I say, it is one of the lines I borrowed and modified to what it is now

Notes: Same comment as above. I am getting bored of writing notes now!!!

Notes: Aah.. This one orginated due to my daily walk to the bus stop.. I need to cross the rail ke patri and thus imagined this one day

Notes: This orginated from the Kavery controversy!!!

Notes: No prizes for guessing, Just after bug fixing phase

Notes: This was when I was streching like a condom...

Notes: This originated just because of the beautiful expression. I just wanted this expression on my white board!!!

Notes: I had got really bored with my monotonity!!!

Notes: Forrest Gump, remember?????

Notes: No idea why I drew this... I must have been very very down...

Notes: Can you see the sequence.... I am fighting back!!!

Notes: To tell you the truth, this has nothing to do with Sonia or Advani or even Modi... This is more the Mahabharath @ office

Notes: Ah... One of my fav... I hate meetings which have no results!!!

Notes: Again no prizes for guessing....Appraisal discussions!!!

Notes: Happy Independence Day!!!

Notes: The words are due to the expression again. Bill you Rock!!!

Notes: Borrowed from some of my readings...

Notes: This is what I figured out one day when I was all alone in my house and contemplating the things that happen around me....

Notes: Top Gun!!!!! What a movie...

Notes: Against BBMP... The Real Estate is not worth investing in Blore no more...

Notes: Taare Zameen Par--- New Year Wishes in Hindi!!!

A year that ran and ran and just didn't allow me to sit back and think... All I was thinking or trying to think, have tried to capture in these few Cubicle Arts...

I hope you guys enjoyed these...

Cheers....

The Beauty, The Beast and The Homo Sapiens

It was a hot morning and cold night on that September day. It had been months now since she had left him. He was totally lost without her. “Left or Right”…. “Take a right”…. The cab driver took the right as instructed. The cab entered the muddy hip-hop road. As they tumbled and toppled along the road, he saw her!!!

He saw her in the embrace of a dark beast which lay under a dingy stair of an old apartment. Suddenly, the scene switched to muddy, greyey color (flashback!!!!) and he could see all the things that had happened between them before she left…

On one Day

“Come on dude… You need to switch off the engine once you come back home man”
“haa… Ya”. “Sure, I am logging in now…Ya, I will close that and send the mail. I know it is very important”…he muttered in the phone as she was trying to kiss his eyes …
“I need to work. It is very critical…”…
“Okay… Call me once you are done”…

On one another day

He was sitting on the sofa on his laptop… She came and sat beside him… He sat there as if she didn’t exist. He absolutely ignored her!!! She felt very bad, but didn’t say anything and just left…

On yet another day

“I don’t think I can take it anymore man”
“What did I do now?”
“You have ignored him too long. I can’t stay with you”
“See… I need to work also na… This is the time of my life when I need to work hard”
“I can’t take the sound of your active grey cells no more. They are constantly making some or the other sound. Something always keeps them active. Either it is your work or the magnetic radiations from your gadgets, or all the chemicals that you consume…I can’t stay here no more man”
“What did you say? I was making the final changes to that code re… sorry. I didn’t hear you.”
“Its okay forget it”

The Fateful Friday

He returned back home that day, really exhausted, fully beaten and battered. He searched for her everywhere. He called her aloud; he drank milk which usually made her come to him. But he had ignored her far too long. He wanted her on that day. He wanted to sleep. She was no where to be seen. He had ignored her, abused her in his quest for glory and power that she had left him completely… He lay on his bed with is eyes wide open hoping that someday she will return. His beloved will return to him someday…


Swoooosh….Back to normal colors

He saw that black beast; the black dog and felt really really jealous. The dog sleeping whereas the supposedly superior species as he considered himself didn’t or couldn't. He was really angry with himself and God for making him one of this self destructing species called Homo sapiens. He had a mobile phone in his hand; one of the best money could buy. This was one of the reasons for his beloved to go. He wondered, is this the cost he has to pay of being a superior species. He didn’t want it no more.
“Take the next Left”
……
“Go straight… This Road end”…
….

“Hey Hi, Ya sure… I am logging in. Ya that will be fixed tonight… No issues…By 8am tomorrow it will be done!!!”

(I Love happy endings and this is my story… So anything that I want to, can happen here!!!)

No, he said to himself. He can’t do this anymore… He took his wallet out and… and..... swallowed that pill that the eccentric doctor had given him…
He started counting
“One”
“Two”
“Three”
“Four”
“Bow…Bow…Arrf…. Grrrr…”….

He was no longer one of them; he was one of the beasts… He found a warm, dingy place. As he lied down, she came… She came and embraced him… Kissing his eyes…Hugging him… his Sleep was finally back with him, his beloved Sleep was back and they Lived Happily Ever After!!!