My Mirror

?

2011-05-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

One Evening on a gloomy April Sunday he watched the story of Pixar on Netflix. “Some crazy guys thought about an idea and made it into reality. As the story goes, Pixar made Toy Story in which they put their sweat, sleep and blood. Toy Story became the first real computer animated movie that was a commetcial success. This was the dream of many people working and they slogged and achived that.” He loves this part of the story, hits the space bar to pause and walks to the kitchen to grab a cookie. He is noC. Auguste Dupin, but his grey cells start itching. It had been a while since such BS has happened in his top floor. Hmmm… Shutting that room of thought using the ignorance and social rationality technique he has developed over the past few years gives him some relief from the itch. He gets back to the video again. Mr. jobs comes on and makes a statement:“Pixar was hit by the Second Product Syndrome after the great success of a product. What Next? What did we want to do?”…. Thakkkk
Realizing the walls of that room are going to blow to pieces he hits pause again. Walks out and drinks another glass of water. Sensing that would be last resort he just goes to sleep. His evening passes by, with a glass of wine to numb the senses and some crap raunchy and slapstick comedies to keep the room locked.

Weeks go by without any action and the room is still locked. Then on one mundane Monday, as he sits on his desk looking at the bright computer screen listening to his favourite classical music the room walls start cracking. He is hapless here in the office. He knows his scope of rationality will not be able to handle the room being broken into bits; after all the rationality is socially acquired. Being pragmatic and yielding to the social constraints always seems to work; call it hypocrisy or otherwise. Who would dis-agree, that is the path of least resistance. He thinks wrong tangent… back to the problem at hand.. The walls crack further and his anxiety increases… The creeking sound is mind boggling… Againist all his experience, mustering the courage he has, he breaks open the lock to enable a steady flow… Since the door is open now, the thoughts don’t just bomb out.. they come in as bullets..

a) You wanted to achieve X. Awesome you have done all that now.

b) You wanted to do Y. Great you did that too.

c) What next?

He waits more. Nothing!! He is startled, is this it? All this anxiety for nothing. Just one small question. No more.. then he examines c)… What next? He starts to answer that question and its like a string of lighting bolts hitting him and he goes boink… You have a goal, you are done with that. What Next? That’s a very difficult question. Was that goal so easy to achieve? Did you aim very low? What is the yard stick to measure that? One question opening a plethora of worms… What is the motivation to keep going? Is A right for me? Is B right for me? Then he realizes that his rationality as it is not enough to answer this… This requires a different kind of a reason… Something that would not complicate and narrow down, but simplify and generalize ... hmmmm… Suddenly it hits him… in all the chaos and complexity a simple answer…

Search for “What Next?” is the answer to “What next?”

A simple recursive solution which engulfs and de-mytifies all the chaos around him…

Dead Phantom

Google Photo Album

2011-02-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

I have been using Picasa for so many years now. When someone uses a tool for so much time, he or she becomes used to the standard UI and look and feel. Google as you know does a great job in maintaining this homogeneity over a period of time and the changes are gradual and are just absorbed.

One of things which might really look naïve to be put on the blog is the details of the photo in the google albums. This is something that I noticed just a couple of days back and was stunned by the amount of details shown. See picture below:

Photo taken using my Nokia mobile

Photo taken using my Canon Powershot

This information is stored in the image header and this is just processing of data on the header (My Assumption!). This is such a simple application of technology and such nice output.

I was really impressed!!

The Talking Generation

2010-08-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

I am always criticized of being cynical about things around. Maybe that’s how my brain is wired. So I did some googling and found some nice articles with great statistics India@62 After all people believe statistics, even though Des McHale calculated that “The average human has one breast and one testicle”.

Cynicism is a hard habit to suppress. But then you wonder how is it possible that we believe all these statistics when the media (all forms) exposes scam over scam almost on daily basis. Some of the tax that we have been paying it seems is being used to get the cars, the treadmills required for the CWG at an exaggerated prices, and then some is going to the pad-yatra security, arrangements etc that our GREAT leaders take so often. Whatever remains is used up to build statues and special roads around the politicians’ residence: If only yeddyurappa were our neighbor! But what right do we have to complain. They are after all our own elected representatives right. The best among us! The leaders… I think it says a lot about us.

Next Sunday is our 63^rd year of Independence. We have definitely come a long way and stand as the statistics says the 12^th biggest economy (even though that has to feed the second largest population). I was watching the movie “The Legend of Bhagat Singh” again yesterday and a thought came to me. These people Bhagat Singh, Raj Guru, Batukeshwar Datt, Sukhdev and all were really intelligent kids. They could have joined the existing British Rule as some big officers or bankers etc and really had a peaceful life. Why did have to take the pain of fasting for more than 50 days in jail just to get the basic necessities like good food and clean clothing? What motivated them to bring about that revolution? It really hard to understand since our history books (the ones that we read as part of curriculum) have a lot of facts like dates, place, names etc but what about the ideology? What made them stop talking and start doing? We need the answer to this question more than ever now. All we do is blog about it, tweet about it or start an online community to support a cause. So all we do is TALK. So I can very safely say that we are a TALKING GENERATION. We have come a long long way, but I guess it’s backwards. We are empowered with so much information now thanks to the technology, but what we do is just talk. Until the shit that has hit the fan, comes on your face nothing needs to done and if the shit hits you, well bad luck nothing can be done about it now. The shit is already on your face!

This blog will go down my memory as something written in disgust about myself, about the feeling of being helpless even though the statistics say otherwise.

Resigning with Integrity...

2010-04-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

Integrity as a word and its usage was introduced into my vocabulary when Al Pacino delivered his famous speech in the movie “The Scent of a Woman”. The idea as he says was that since Charlie is not a snitch he has integrity. He was standing up for what he believes and is not afraid of the consequences. He ends up saying that this is what the leader should be made of.

Forget leaders for a while. I believed that this is what a Just human should be made of. But over the past year this idea of integrity and the possibilities of following it or breaking it have been making rounds in my grey cells. The conflict inside me has I think reduced my testosterone levels even though studies suggest that marriage is directly linked to the reduction of the former.

Now consider this scenario. Off late with events around me, it is almost a proven fact that the threat of resignation from the current firm helps you get what you want faster. I must say it is a tried and tested method and almost works always. This in spite of the idea that if the company thinks one is good enough for a particular job doesn’t really give it to him/her when he shows interest. Why should you wait for the person to resign to give it to him? Is it a time buying tactic? Possibly! But buying time for what? Well, let’s just forget the company and the managers for a while and the idea that came up a line before.

So the fact that the threat of resignation will help you get what you want is a strong tool. Next question, Is it ethical? Once you do that do you consider yourself to be a man at the same benchmark of integrity? Oh there is a dichotomy here. One part of the world (Lets call this NE) says, this is pure business. By resigning you are just reminding that you are really required for the company which otherwise they had taken for granted. NE part of the world also goes on saying that unless it is absolutely necessary a company wont change something that is already working and hence such a big disruption is needed to get the results. The fallback is that the company might realize that you are not actually required and if the threat was just a threat then you are in a big soup.

Now the other world (let’s call this E) thinks this act is absolutely unethical as one is taking advantage of a weakness. For most part of my professional life I have been a part of this E. Just the fact that I wrote this blog, proves my doubts about the idea. Not really going into the miniscule details of this idea, the central theme is if after resignation one is good enough for a job, he was good enough before that. All that is required is to convince the company about this. The flipsides, one may have to wait too long and by time he gets what he wants the opportunity is stale and lost its luster. When a person from E resigns, he has to leave as he is supposed to have tried all the arguments and his interests are not inline with the company’s. Hence he has to move and not accept any counter offer. Accepting would mean compromising on the idea of integrity for E.

Open ended right. Now how can one solve this conflict of the mind? I am still trying. As you can see breaking the so called integrity definition of E part of the world gives more flexibility. All you can say “Every action we do is pregnant with possibilities; possibilities which have physical, emotional, social and intellectual implications. The trick is to find the right balance”.

Dead Phantom

90mph

2009-05-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a road so straight and so long and so so barren that you don’t see anything along the horizon? Well I saw one such road and imagined driving here @ night would make me shit in my pants.
Anyway, US is supposed to have many such roads and hence these guys have a solution for driving on these roads. Cruise!!! You reach a certain speed and press a button and the speed is maintained at that automatically. When you see this in normal city traffic one would say what an absurd waste. But then when you read a sign board saying; “Next Gas after 150 Miles” these things become justified. Well now coming to the roads and the location. As many of you who would read this will know, I had been to the Sin City… can’t blog about that, I am getting married!!! So we get such a road when we go from Las Vegas to Area 51(We were almost there). Straight roads and deserts all around you. You feel, are we in Earth or in Mars?? Only the gravity makes you realize that yes you are still on Earth. Speed Limits on these roads are a whopping 75mph (~121mph). If you don’t use the cruise, you will not know and you reach 90mph (you guys can convert that). This should give a kick right? Driving so fast… Well No sir… It was one of the most boring drives of my life… Nothing to see, bad music (courtesy a fellow traveler) and I almost dozed off writing this… So now I can say negating the general cliché, “Driving @ 90mph is boring”…
So people who drive in India, guys you are best. We might not have the best roads or the best cars but definitely we have the best drivers and not to mention the truckwalas who always keep our drives interesting…

SMILE OK PLEASE

2009-04-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

I am walking down the road to office for the first time. Street name some damn Ave. As I step on the office pathway, I get a big grin from a person walking past me. Now what am I supposed to do. This is my first day in US ain’t it? How does this big huge gentleman know me… But I smile back just out of courtesy. Maybe he must have seen my photo somewhere. But where????

uff.. I enter the building and finally reach my floor and my desk with a sigh of relief wondering what did I do? Why is everyone recognizing me and smiling at me? Is my photo being put up on some kind of notice board or something with my name saying this is the new bakra from India?… I was like… OMG!!! So I go to one of my colleagues and ask him about this. He can’t control his laughter… He laughs for 5 min, putting me through the same kind of pain again but more intensified… One person I actually know is laughing… Once the expression of LOL stopped, he explains to me that this is very common in the US of A that people just smile at you and you are supposed to smile back. I was like.. Gosh.. Why??? There was no real answer you know… Courtesy, Chivalry, Culture..(So many C’s) came up as reasons… I thought what the F let me add another C to it.. This is some Chugiri (I hope you guys know this.. else mail me will tell you) that I have to do.. So I start to smile back at all people… Its kinda fun you know… You can smile and say Hi to any one… I mean.. Think of the times when you wanted to catch the smile of a pretty girl in the lift, and she doesn’t give you any damn ghaas… Welcome to US of A. You can smile at all those beautiful girls in the lift and they will smile back and more wish you a good day!!! So much for the Cgiri… I started enjoying… Flip side, yes you have smile at everyone… You will find people saying Namaste…You have to greet them too.. and you know none of them! Come on…Do we go and say “Yo Man, Howz you?” and all… No right…We just say “Hi”… then whats all this Namaste stuff… But I have to admit even though it’s awkward, it’s kind of good to see people try to understand our way of saying hi…

This was just one of the many surprises I have had here… These guys walk on the right, drive on the right etc etc.. That’s all ok… But then you know what, there is no Ground Floor here!!! That was a shocker you know… I come into the hotel to checkin late night at 12… The front desk guy gives me the key and all and says, your room is on the second floor.. Room 366… So I walk along with 2 huge bags and try to find a 2 storied building in vain… Finally the guy shows up and points at the direction of the room… Funny yeah but true…

I have learnt things quicker than I thought… I can drive in US, am practicing the floor system, trying to understand the maps here, also cultivating the habit of walking on the right(you walk on left and you will surely bump into someone!!!) and above all I am smiling at all the people I meet….

SMILE OK PLEASE!!!!

Life is a bloody ironic bitch…

2009-01-07T03:47:00.000-08:00

Life is a bloody ironic bitch… Just as you think you have got on top of it… It gives you a riddle that screws your confidence, screws your grey cells and what not… The eternal truth of life is death and this is the biggest irony.

One believes in God, thanks him when something good happens and prays when he wants something good. Then just like that one day God listens to all the prayers and gives something that has always seemed like a dream… The person gets so happy…He is on cloud 9… Flying… He is still catching his breath when God says, enough and a thing very precious that he already had is taken away from him… Now what?? How does he get out of that pit… Was he guilty of not appreciating what he had, or did he wish more or was he just being alive…

No idea… I guess life is a step by step process… One Step at a time that’s the only way out of this pit I guess. As one takes these steps, the thoughts that come to his mind test his attitude and character. Ones belief system and all the principles that have shaped him till now are all shaken and stirred too… Practicality says that one must not think about a problem that is not in your control and that every person will have to suffer the share that is destined… So we have to suffer…

But then suffering is a feeling right.. Why not stop feeling? Why not? Then you realize we are alive because we feel. Sometimes words just flow like this, out of feeling I guess…

I am at the brink right now. Brink of becoming a non-believer in the concept of God and still I pray and say “Please God give me strength to fight this”…

As I said, Life is a bloody ironic Bitch….

Dead Phantom

Best of 2008

2009-01-03T10:56:00.000-08:00

Year 2008 went by the fastest by all standards…My white board changed again this year… So the quantity of the cubicle art has noticeably reduced.. However what ever I could manage has been documented… Best of 2007 is still very fresh in my mind and already I am posting Best of 2008… This year really flew by in the blink of an eye…uff…. Check out some of my cartoons of 2008…

Nonsense Everywhere

As Usual, when I was streching a lot!! Such an expression has become a regular every year..

When things got of my hand

Anyone watched V for Vendetta!!

Some Random thought..

Ayn Rand is amazingly quotable..

After my resignation...

My last in SAP Labs!!!

My first in IBM.. Children's Day!!! hehehe...

An Evening of a Common Man...

2008-12-04T23:51:00.000-08:00

Life of common people follow certain patterns... Mostly everyone falls into that pattern... These are driven by the events around them and the degree of the influence of these events...
Just check out one of these evenings....

Preeti: “This is ridiculous. How can they do this to us? How doesn’t the govt do something about it…”

Ganesh: “This is how it is… What can you and me do?”

Preeti: “Come on!! We vote.. you pay such a huge amount of taxes and don’t you think these guys should do something about it?”

Ganesh: “Ha Ha Ha… Yes I do. But…”

Preeti: “Think about it.. Today its mumbai tomorrow it might be Bangalore.. It might be one of us man… How do you take that…”

Harish from inside the kitchen: “Till that time… Drink Beer and have fun…Fun until Gun!!! Bad bad… ha ha ha”

Ganesh: “ Exactly..”

Preeti: “You guys are impossible.. Kuch bhi… How can you say that!”

Vaman: “This govt is napumsak man…They just cant do anything”

Ganesh unusually angry: “So what do we attack Pakistan.. Come on that’s not the solution.. What do you think the people there who will die actually have anything to do with this.. No right? And will you bloody go and fight there? Easily said than done! War is not always the answer… Guard the borders better.. That’s the solution not destroy Pakistan…”

Harish: “Food in another 15 min”

Ganesh: “The point is we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone… That’s the whole problem… Everyone thinks about himself…”

Harish: “Another glass? See..that is not bad… It is natural instinct…”

Ganesh: “No Enough yaar... I agree..”

Harish: “Come on.. People like us, the tax payers are also required as much as anyone else in the society.. The ones in the ‘comfort zone’!!”

Preeti almost in tears: “Something has to be done.. We have to do something”

Harish: “Abe.. Change the channel man… She us getting psyched up. Abhi ganga jamuna chalu ho jayega…”

Ganesh: “Ha Ha Ha… Abe channel change kar be…”

On some news channel on TV….

“Breaking News.. Three more bombs found….

One reporter…’This is a --- channel exclusive…Lets talk to a person who was holed up in Taj…Aapko kaisa lag raha hai….” Bla blab bla…

Harish: “Assholes… Change it dude”.

On some other channel an Ad is going on

“agar aap election ke din vote nahe kar rahe ho to aap so rahe ho”

Preeti: “We vote and this is what we get.. We have to do something about it..”

Harish walking back to kitchen: “Abe yaar.. Phir se chalu..”

Ganesh: “Thik hai.. we will do something… Why don’t you suggest what can be done…”

Preeti: “Something can be done na? Somebody must start.”

Ganesh: “ok.. Why don’t you take the initiative… Why don’t you do something haan…It is as I said easier said than done…”

Harish: “Food Ready..”

Vaman: “First good thing I have heard today!”

Preeti: “Anna data sukhi bhawa”

Ganesh: “Lets eat!!!”

Well, this is how it happens I guess. The life’s mundane things are much more important than all the chaos until you are caught in that. Can something be really done? I have stopped thinking.. I guess the best thing is do your bit… Vote? Well I am still in 2 minds about that… My little bit would be, whenever I see some slack in security in and around the places that I go, try to raise my voice and hope something is done.

"Hope" that might will keep us alive until we are killed....

2008-10-28T05:12:00.000-07:00

, the most decorated single letter word! I oh, sorry before we establish the usage of this word let me replace it with me.. Me asked many people around what do they think about the word “I”.. Me got many responses… some funny, some dark and some interesting and some very clichéd too… Me even got a poem written on I…

I think therefore "I" am

I am the world.
Close your eyes and imagine a coffee mug.
Now go to cafeteria and pick up a coffee mug and keep it front of you.
Did the coffee mug match your imagination?
How much?
How did you recognize the coffee mug?
The concept of coffee mug and the actual coffee mug are different.
All that we know of world is the concepts of things.
So at a conceptual level you still have 'I' with a name, occupation, face, interests etc; etc;
But 'I' also the entity which perceives this and other objects.
Its 'I' which forms the world around you.

"I" am putting forward my views...when "you" ( actually "I" for you..for me its " you") :-)
"I" is a 9th letter ….one of very few vowels….
"I" is un avoidable in english communication, and its usually used when one referring himself/herself. But, using "I" some times misleading based on context of communication...also might conveys "one"s self-belief...again as I said most of the time context plays very important role . "I" often referred as "Egoistic" in spiritual world. Removing "I" from within is most important.
But,in modern era...we cant leave without using "I" , even though, looks like blowing our own triumph....!! bla bla bla… I feel nothing wrong in it....but, how precisely you put in "I" in your communication always most important.
I" conclude saying....rather asking what is "I", better we should ask "who am "I" ..??

To a remarkable degree the limitation in the personification of others is based on inappropriate and inadequate personification of oneself. Particularly troublesome are the inadequate and inappropriate personification of what can be refered to as 'stereotypes' which again reflect the the limitations in the personification of the self. Stereotypes reflect the inadequate and inapproproate elements in one's own self; thus all the special stereotypes are either poor imitations of ingredients in the personified self or even more inadequate in terms of providing a guide in life , they are not elements from the personification of the self.
I hope you can now relate to the concept of I as "the personification of the self" .

I - Pride if used in the correct way , becomes EGO if used constantly...

For me “I” means the following
1. First it is “Me”.
2. Then it is INDIA
3. Then it is Infosys.

I - The Force
And the Restraining Leash
I - The Love
And the Jealous Heart
I - The Dreamer
And the Cobwebs of Mind
I - The Actor
And the Puppet Strings on Arms
I - The Music
And the Feeling Unexpressed
I - The Beauty
And the Materialistic Eye
I - The Maverick
And the Fear of Alone

Overwhelming response haan… Me had to edit some part to suit the size and structure of this blog.. “I”, according to me is the strongest word translated in any language… We always fail to realize this.. “I”, means independent.. it means responsible.. it means to own… it means the force that drives this society. Without the I, the driving force; this world’s engine would be shutdown…
I am that’s why the world is…
Think about it…

This is Calvin Speaking...

2008-10-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

“Hi my dear friends, I am finally back…”….
“Shut up… Who asked you to talk now… I have been doing that for almost an year now… let me do it for you again...”

Hi all, this is Calvin speaking… This fellow just put my one liners in front of you till today…Now its time for me to speak…
As you all know, I am the crooked part of his brain, actually his personified sarcasm… We had a great time together in his company something that spelled like SAP… But I must say he always kept me busy… In the years that we stayed in SAP…

“Let me tell this Calvin.. Please…”
“Hey, who’s been doing the talking till now,, Just see your previous blogs…”

Well, he is a very gluey customer mind you.. Anyway he is away reading his previous blogs.. I will be done by then… As I was mentioning before, we spent more than 2+ years in SAP and I had to move 3 white boards… The first one was in a building called RMZ just beside the SAP campus. It was a beautiful white board I must say… it was big and white…Yeah, it is.. Forrest Gump dialogue style… One movie that we watched together and many phrases from that move I did use when I spoke to you… Anyway, the first board was on the 4th Floor where this ass had joined a team full of mainly uncles… Initial days were tough… I was always skeptical to say anything in full blow… You never know the uncles.. Amrut also just managed to go by this team. Then came the cricket match organization. He capitalized and that jump started his social connection spree here… He started becoming pretty popular with his mailing styles and bold communications…
Then he was called to join some other team and we had to shift to 3rd floor… I came to know later that we had shifted to a team which has relatively younger people and thus Amrut had no problems connecting with them…This is the time when he let me completely free… Almost every second day I used to make a speech… Oh, I forgot about the white board.. It was big and white of course, but then it was more visible and some of my best expression were caught on this board… I really missed the board when we had to move to the new building facility that came up… It was very nice, but the white board was small and the walls pink… can you believe it Pink?? I mean who in the gods name would have suggested this color… Even god doesn’t have an idea I guess… Well by this time, our fellow had grown really bold… He had really slogged his ass off and attained a very good position in the team… The consequence, I become more political and more dry sarcastic… You can see the effects in the statements that I have made on the smaller screen… Even though the screen was small, I had my best time here… Here is where I saw Amrut transform into a good team player, a good listener [ Yeah…. I share your views, he never listens to anyone…], a decent politician and bla bla… I saw him lose his cool and regain it back… He learnt the importance of my words and started using them very well for his own good rather than waste it on some unwanted topic… That’s when you see me talk about really important and political stuff… It really helped in shaping his character in Sap and I am proud that I was really influential… He made some very pretty friends too because of me.. hehe.. Un real right… who would think the crooked mind would have so many takers… But friends, truth is stranger than fiction… So we were having a great time together… Suddenly it happened on day that he felt that he has to move on now… I have always failed to understand him, but then who doesn’t need a change. This small white board and the same babes and the comments were getting boring for me too… So finally he resigned… It was a great 2 years for both of us and we learnt a lot from each other… See you can see me a little less sarcastic.. hehehe….Its just my one liners I guess…
Anyway, I then stopped talking for some days. Maybe it was because of the fact his Boss was a little pissed that Amrut had resigned when he had lots of plans for him… So the first thing that he attacked was the fact that, how can Mr. Tadas spread “negativity” with his cartoons now that he has resigned… I was puzzled… He was a smart man… One of the very few people on the floor who could get my sarcasm… Well maybe that must be the reason… hehehe… Anyway… we shifted to another white board before we left.. But this was a very dirty board and Amrut spent almost 8 minutes cleaning it… Finally when it was clean, I didn’t feel like talking at all…

I was done with the SAP white boards now… Change is good as you can see above… Change is always good and lets hope this change also is fruitful….

He is coming back now… I will wrap up… See you again soon when I find a new big shiny white board….

Building in Nonsense

2008-06-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

Imagine two people used to speaking in puns and masters of sarcasm trying to get the upper hand on a topic…. Hmmm… What it results is a conversation worth quoting despite being very less useful; just like all the great creations of the cryptic human brain that one may think of.
Well after the build up, now the conversation.

In the rest room:

“ahh… What a piss!! Anything you do with this is pleasure”
“It’s Ironic with a tinge of philosophy”
“Yeah, you are right”
“I mean, finally what is important is that. A glass of water, food, sex..”
“Ya, Basic instinct that’s what it is all about”
“Sheer Animal instinct is the word. That’s what finally keeps us happy….”

As they come out:

“But we end up thinking, creating philosophies after philosophies”
“ha ha ha… Well come to think of it, we have the power to..”
“What power?”
“…understand this, that animal instinct is what is needed and nothing else”
“Come on… The Irony as you mentioned starts with this”
“….”

In the lift:

“I mean, What’s ironic is that we have the power to understand that it’s the basic instinct that is all that is needed for one being and yet if we didn’t have that power to understand then again we would need the same”
“Yeah.. you are right… Just as they put it… Philosopher is the one who knows that it is no good and “hence” preaches it…”
“So long…”
“So long… See you in the new sun tomorrow”
“Yeah new Sun!!!”

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Well ladies and gentlemen, Life is definitely a pun and its up to one’s own will to take the best suited meaning of it….

Dead Phantom

R-32

2008-01-31T23:22:00.001-08:00

“You took your bus pass?” asked his friend.
“Ya, See this”
“My gawd… It looks like another ID card na… R-32…”
“But it has my name also on this...”
“Ya… But that so small”
“Hmmm…”
…..
….
A train of thoughts started to run in his not so grey cells. Why was his name written on this ID in such small letters almost invisible? Maybe, they want to use this only as the ID and abandon the Photo Ids that they had. Maybe, they will give numbers to each person working in the organization to identify them uniquely and that will be only way of identifying one. Names will be immaterial.
Or maybe this is part of a bigger conspiracy… You never know... He couldn’t trust anyone; neither the government, nor the media or his others sources. All are biased in one way or the other and all have lied. The lie painted so beautifully that all have to accept it. Hmmm…
Ya it must be the government’s new initiative or conspiracy so to say. Maybe his worst nightmares or the best opportunities are coming to life. Individualism will seize to exist. All will think alike and will be identified alike. Spelled similar, called similar and hence there will be no discrimination.

We would hear conversations like…
“R-32, did you have your food?”
“Yes R-56 I am done with my food”

Roll calls will be taken like this…
“R-98”
“Present R-35”
“R-109”
“Present R-35”
….
Statements like. “What does your name mean?” would have no significance what so ever. The basic identifier “name” would become so indistinguishable that all the individualism would seize to exist. No thought of his own.

Everything cleverly thought about by a man or a group of men who want the ultimate power; a power beyond any imagination; a power never fathomed of….. The power on the thought process of the most complex computing thing ever conceived of, a human brain!!!

Is it really possible? Yes, it is with all the conditions being satisfied one by one; all things becoming so mechanical and methodical; with questions like “Its working fine that way. Why do you want to change it?” being asked more frequently…
Then he thought; would he be the one who would be that man… or be part of that group of those men? Why not? Power is sweet…

“Dude… What happened? Are you fine? We have a meeting with the architect now. Let’s go”
“Ya… Let’s go...” He was smiling to himself…
He thought aloud…
“Maybe it might happen one day”
“What?”…
“Nothing… Let’s go to the meeting…”

Best of 2007...

2008-01-07T21:05:00.000-08:00

This is again the time of the year to look back on our achievements!!! Oopss... Inaction is not exactly a crime you know... So this is also the time of the year to look back on the socially useless activities which come tradionally under Inaction tree...

Funde bus.... Enjoy the cartoons... Let Calvin and Hobbess speak...

Before I go ahead, again I copy Bill's beautiful expressions and use my words to describe that expression to express what I am feeling at that moment!!! Thank you Bill for creating the best philosophers in Calvin and Hobbes!! Hats Off to you....

Notes: Life is short. Enjoy it.

Notes: Well what do I say, it is one of the lines I borrowed and modified to what it is now

Notes: Same comment as above. I am getting bored of writing notes now!!!

Notes: Aah.. This one orginated due to my daily walk to the bus stop.. I need to cross the rail ke patri and thus imagined this one day

Notes: This orginated from the Kavery controversy!!!

Notes: No prizes for guessing, Just after bug fixing phase

Notes: This was when I was streching like a condom...

Notes: This originated just because of the beautiful expression. I just wanted this expression on my white board!!!

Notes: I had got really bored with my monotonity!!!

Notes: Forrest Gump, remember?????

Notes: No idea why I drew this... I must have been very very down...

Notes: Can you see the sequence.... I am fighting back!!!

Notes: To tell you the truth, this has nothing to do with Sonia or Advani or even Modi... This is more the Mahabharath @ office

Notes: Ah... One of my fav... I hate meetings which have no results!!!

Notes: Again no prizes for guessing....Appraisal discussions!!!

Notes: Happy Independence Day!!!

Notes: The words are due to the expression again. Bill you Rock!!!

Notes: Borrowed from some of my readings...

Notes: This is what I figured out one day when I was all alone in my house and contemplating the things that happen around me....

Notes: Top Gun!!!!! What a movie...

Notes: Against BBMP... The Real Estate is not worth investing in Blore no more...

Notes: Taare Zameen Par--- New Year Wishes in Hindi!!!

A year that ran and ran and just didn't allow me to sit back and think... All I was thinking or trying to think, have tried to capture in these few Cubicle Arts...

I hope you guys enjoyed these...

Cheers....

The Beauty, The Beast and The Homo Sapiens

2007-09-12T12:33:00.000-07:00

It was a hot morning and cold night on that September day. It had been months now since she had left him. He was totally lost without her. “Left or Right”…. “Take a right”…. The cab driver took the right as instructed. The cab entered the muddy hip-hop road. As they tumbled and toppled along the road, he saw her!!!

He saw her in the embrace of a dark beast which lay under a dingy stair of an old apartment. Suddenly, the scene switched to muddy, greyey color (flashback!!!!) and he could see all the things that had happened between them before she left…

On one Day

“Come on dude… You need to switch off the engine once you come back home man”
“haa… Ya”. “Sure, I am logging in now…Ya, I will close that and send the mail. I know it is very important”…he muttered in the phone as she was trying to kiss his eyes …
“I need to work. It is very critical…”…
“Okay… Call me once you are done”…

On one another day

He was sitting on the sofa on his laptop… She came and sat beside him… He sat there as if she didn’t exist. He absolutely ignored her!!! She felt very bad, but didn’t say anything and just left…

On yet another day

“I don’t think I can take it anymore man”
“What did I do now?”
“You have ignored him too long. I can’t stay with you”
“See… I need to work also na… This is the time of my life when I need to work hard”
“I can’t take the sound of your active grey cells no more. They are constantly making some or the other sound. Something always keeps them active. Either it is your work or the magnetic radiations from your gadgets, or all the chemicals that you consume…I can’t stay here no more man”
“What did you say? I was making the final changes to that code re… sorry. I didn’t hear you.”
“Its okay forget it”

The Fateful Friday

He returned back home that day, really exhausted, fully beaten and battered. He searched for her everywhere. He called her aloud; he drank milk which usually made her come to him. But he had ignored her far too long. He wanted her on that day. He wanted to sleep. She was no where to be seen. He had ignored her, abused her in his quest for glory and power that she had left him completely… He lay on his bed with is eyes wide open hoping that someday she will return. His beloved will return to him someday…

Swoooosh….Back to normal colors

He saw that black beast; the black dog and felt really really jealous. The dog sleeping whereas the supposedly superior species as he considered himself didn’t or couldn't. He was really angry with himself and God for making him one of this self destructing species called Homo sapiens. He had a mobile phone in his hand; one of the best money could buy. This was one of the reasons for his beloved to go. He wondered, is this the cost he has to pay of being a superior species. He didn’t want it no more.
“Take the next Left”
……
“Go straight… This Road end”…
….

“Hey Hi, Ya sure… I am logging in. Ya that will be fixed tonight… No issues…By 8am tomorrow it will be done!!!”

(I Love happy endings and this is my story… So anything that I want to, can happen here!!!)

No, he said to himself. He can’t do this anymore… He took his wallet out and… and..... swallowed that pill that the eccentric doctor had given him…
He started counting
“One”
“Two”
“Three”
“Four”
“Bow…Bow…Arrf…. Grrrr…”….

He was no longer one of them; he was one of the beasts… He found a warm, dingy place. As he lied down, she came… She came and embraced him… Kissing his eyes…Hugging him… his Sleep was finally back with him, his beloved Sleep was back and they Lived Happily Ever After!!!

Please let me blog….

2007-06-05T04:12:00.001-07:00

Please….
Please…
Let me blog….

I don’t need no more message logs
I don’t need no more design bogs
I want to blog
Please please let me blog

I care no more for the backlogs
I don’t want no more slog
I want to blog
Please please let me blog

Please
Please…
Let me blog…

I don’t want no mind clog
I am fed up of all dialog
I want to blog
Please please let me blog

No more java, no more prolog
I want to lie like a log
I want to blog
Please please let me blog

Please
Please….
Let me blog…

Please
Please…
Let me blog…

------------- Dead Phantom

Confusing Discussion!#@?

2007-04-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

Humanity, Complacency or Helplessness

It was just another usual day. Managing to get up from bed as early as 8:30am, he had bought some time for a cup of tea before his corporate bus ride.
He dodged his way around the dogs and men to reach his tea shop.
"Boss, half tea".
"Okay"...
The shopkeeper poured him a cup of tea in the small dispensable cup. As he started drinking, he over heard a small conversation between two guys sharing the small space in front of the tea shop.
Man1: "I really screwed that ICICI guy man"
Man2: "Why what happened?"
Man1: "Arey one of the representative there signed on my behalf!!!" Laughs...
Man2: "You mean he forged your signature? Oh my gawd... Why? For what?"
Man1: "Arey these ICICI guys have that prudential kuch insurance na....They have this offer by way of which, you pay a small amount from your ICICI account and you get some insurance."
Man2: "What about that?"
He had finished his tea by that time. He still had some more time. He asked for another tea and also a cigarette. He had to listen to this interesting conversation.
As he lit the nicotine inhaler, he heard Man1 continue with his interesting story...
Man1: "Arey when you open the account you have the option of going for this insurance... You have to sign on one part of the form that you are submitting.
So this intelligent fellow ha, signed for me. Since it is a very small amount it is hard to track"
Man2: "Even though it might be small... Just imagine how many more he may have cheated this way... But how did you come to know?"
Man1: "Come on man, it is not easy to fox me... What did they think? I compared all the account statements and figured out that this amount is missing from my account. This is how I got to know about this scrupulous act."
Man1 inhaled his cigarette and had this 'I am the best' look on his face... He stood there watching Man1’s face in amusement...
Man1: "I told them that I am going to file a case and stuff like this"
Man2: "So what do they say?"
Man1: "This issue has reached the top management also man..." Laughs...."Phat gaye hai unke (They are scared to death)... The Manager had called up.
Was saying sorry and pleading that I don’t take any action unless their Regional Manager meets me"... Again gives that 'I am the best' grin...
He looks at his watch and decides that he can spend another 6 to 7 minutes as he can run to reach his bus stop... He really didn't wish to miss this interesting conversation...
Man1: "See... I have made them dance right"
Man2: "Ya... But you don’t leave them man... Lodge a case...You will get your money back na?"
Man1: "Money they are ready to give back man... That I will get anyway...But you know what the manager was saying... He said that it was done by the people at the bottom part of the hierarchy and that the managers were unaware of this... Also if I complain then 3 people who are directly responsible will lose their jobs"
Man2: "So?"
Man1: "Arey come on... He also said that it will be a problem for me..." Man2 suddenly interrupted
Man2: "You mean they are threatening you?"
Man1: "Hyaa.... Abe Phat gaye hai unke... No way... But you also have to think na... Three jobs at stake yaar... I will be getting my money back also anyway..."
Man2: "Nahe nahe... You will get more if you go to the court... You can get some settlement yaar"
Man1: "But the three guys will lose their jobs... So I was just giving it another thought..."
Man2: "So what... they need to be...."
It was time for him to leave... He had got the major gist of the conversation... He ran to catch his bus which he did finally....
As he placed his butt on the seat of the "Corporate" bus, he just couldn't help but think about what he has just overheard....
He recalled the words of Sashi Tharoor in Midnight to millennium, “Discussion is an art form practiced in India… [whose] vitality is attenuated by its own irrelevance”… So he thought he should attach more relevance to the discussion that he had just overheard…
He failed to conclude what exactly was the nature of the reaction of that man, or rather the victim of the fraud…
First he thought he was complacent; complacent due to the fact that he wasn’t really acting in the strongest possible way against the injustice that had happened…

But then his thoughts wandered again to the statement made by Man2; "You mean they are threatening you?"… With this in mind he thought that perhaps the man is like the helpless common man of R.K’s cartoon… He is afraid of the corrupt Indian system and is not really ready to take the risk of filing a case in the Indian court which rather has a very sad track record.

He thought yes that must be the case and was about to put an end to the relevance drama he has spun, when he recalled yet another interesting fact…
Man1: “… 3 jobs are at stake….”

He realized, maybe he was just acting humanitarianly, for he knows how hard it is to get a job in India. How many gods let alone people have to be pleased before one gets a job… Perhaps he also must also have gone through many hardships in getting a job in DRDO as his proud batch proclaimed. Moreover he was getting his money back and that the bank was apologetic, so there was no need that three people lose their jobs…

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh…… sounded the “corporate” bus brakes… It was time to get down and get back to the routine of his own life…
He hadn’t yet reached a conclusion. His virtual palimpsest was full of contradictory facts about the discussion for which he had been a mute spectator… The contradictions arouse mainly because of the pluralism of the conditions that existed around him.
Whether the man acted out of Humanity, Complacency, Helplessness…
Suddenly…“Meeting in 10 min”…
He: “Ya… I’ll grab a coffee and be there”
He was an artist after all… a person who loves discussions…

The Damn Mask

2007-03-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

Truth is stranger than fiction. What a statement! Let me put my interpretation of this same statement.
Fiction is just a shadow of the truth that happens in this world. A shadow which has the same outline and structure, but missing something very vital.
This vital thing is the color. The color in case of fiction is the real emotion, real happiness, real tears and fears.
Life is an Act and we are all actors. Unlike the movie actors who are just shadows of the actual world characters, we are real actors. The ones with the color! Everyday we wake up wearing a mask and perfrom the act we intend to perfectly and neatly without knowing that we are actually hiding under the mask. One might wonder whats under this mask... Well nobody gets to see it neither the person herself or her outer world. When you get bored of one mask you change it with another. We are always acting, pretending to be somebody. We never get to know who we are and suddenly one dies. The mask, the sticky mask persists. You are remembered as a person with certain characteristics based on the mask in which you have been seen. The damn mask never goes away. As Twain puts it "We are just Echoes"... and further he says "We are just compost heap made up of the decayed heredities, moral and physical."
The matrix persists and the pretensions continue... So much so that these become the real things and finally you end up saying "Show must go on....."
P.S.
I dont know why I wrote this and whether it makes any sense. It just a thought that came and I had to jot it down. Maybe in the future I read it again and i feel... What crap was this and manage a good laugh...

Life - A journey? A Destination?...

2007-03-22T08:47:00.000-07:00

"What do you think about life dude as it is right now?" asked Rocky...
"Well actually, if I think about it sitting here between the woods its beautiful man, in fact it rocks..." said I...
"hmmm.... We need to live life by the hour man. Live and not repent what you did an hour back!!!"
"hmmm..."
There was a sudden silence. Amidst the woods, the silence was intimidating to the extent that I lost touch with all four dimensions.
As I got lost in thoughts, I remembered what I was thinking as I drove on the beautiful road to Kemmangundi...

Life is like the road. You overtake a vehicle in front of you, there is one more. You overtake that; there is another... and another and another...
However fast you are, there is always someone in front of you on the Road. Okay you reached your so called destination, but then there is some road ahead for you.
Again there are some more vehicles ahead of you. So the race never ends. You are never on the podium. There are always vehicles carrying the esteemed souls that are ahead of you...
Its a long journey. That is what life is; A journey. All that matters is the road you traveled.
That is the part in which you live your life. Destination is always one. You become one of the five elements. The final destination, however dark it may seem is the only eternal truth. Death!
I am no authority to say whether it is right to consider life a journey or a destination. All I can see, one enjoys life it it is treated more like a journey that a destination.
"Karmanya Vadhikaraste, Maa phalesu Kadachana"....

Well too philosophical right... Try this... Empty road, wind hitting your face, the hymn of your engine... You go in a trance. That is the trance when the mind wanders into unexplored territory.
That is when the grey cells of the part of your brain which are usually numb come alive and you think the thoughts such as above...
Well... All I can say is...

Revvin' up the engine
Listen to her howlin' roar
Metal under tension
Beggin' you to touch and go

Ride into the Danger Zone...

Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity

Ride into the Danger Zone...
I went to the Danger Zone....

P.S. Adopted from the Top Gun OST; Danger Zone performed by Kenny Loggins.

Kahani Color Color ki…

2007-02-28T22:09:00.000-08:00

The budget indicates another F******** year is over!!! Hey, it’s F for financial, what were you thinking??
That means again we have had our appraisals… Yes, the act of classification of someone with respect to ones worth.
Don’t stop reading now… I am not going to crib about my appraisal…
So why did I at all mention about it? All we do after appraisal is crib right???
Well to a great extent yes, but this cribbing comes in various sizes, shapes and colors depending on the intensity of the personality…
A rainbow is caused when the mighty Sun shines onto soft droplets of moisture. The same sun, the same water but 7 different colors…
Don’t go into physics and start analyzing the statements now, just read along to know the different colors of corporate cribbing after appraisal…

The Green Goblin…

In places where talking about % hike is not a crime (It is not in fact!!!), the green goblins are a common place.
Green symbolizes jealously and so does the green goblin’s cribbing style… In this style, the cribbing is triggered by the fact that, one has got more and one hasn’t. It is neither qualitative nor quantitative. Comparison is the key word in this style of cribbing and what is compared has no rules!!! Yes cribbing doesn’t need rules!!!!

The Red Crab…

These crabs are rare species and are scattered in all the environments irrespective of any pre-conditions. This kind of cribbing is characterized by extreme rage, shouting and making life sick for all those who are working with the crab. The read crabs are dangerous and almost always end the cribbing by changing their homes!!!

The Blue Whale…

These are the gentle giants and they are the most silent cribbers. They are the loyalists, the faithful and they are generally called Chu’s by the Crabs and the Goblins because of this attitude. In their style of cribbing, it is all self assuring talk. You hear statements like “It’s alright…”, “Money is not the ultimate goal…”, “He said I will get onsite…” and stuffs like… “Chodo yaar… Mast raho…” It is very difficult to predict the next step of these gentle giants…

The White Tiger…

The Tigers unlike the wild ones are the sufferers here. They are innocent by nature and are not able to comprehend why this has happened. They crib without any comparison unlike the Goblins. Their cribbing is all statistics, all numbers; Purely Qualitative and Quantitative. Their style is characterized by the sarcasm in their comments. They show the disappointment in a polished way. But under this polish lies a beast that might be unleashed at any time. Once that beast is unleashed, God help the guys on the other side of the line!!!

The Chameleons…

These are the funniest of all the cribbers. These chameleons are not sure whether whet they have got is good or bad… So they take the color of the species around them, be it green, red, blue or white… They just follow. They generally don’t feel anything about what has happened and manage to sleep calmly even though they have cribbed whole day!!! They are generally harmless…

The Black Crow…

Black is no color and hence this is the darkest cribbing you can find in the industry. These crows actually flock together and crib only when in company of any one of the above species… They hatch a plan and somehow by hook or crook always end up with good grades… But mysteriously nobody knows of their grades… These guys crib and crib as if they have got the worst that was on offer and all this is just part of their next game plan. They get all the inside stories and what all other species are thinking and sketch the map for the next year’s appraisal. They are the cold hearted players of the game. In fact they are the GAME the whole reason of all the confusion and colors!!!

So my dear readers, you saw the cribbing use of Irony here… English is a funny language, colors can signify joy… Colors can signify melancholy…
It is up to us to decide what we want them to represent…

P.S.
I thank the makers of K series for giving us titles which can be used so flexibly!!!

A Ride into the Danger Zone....

2007-02-18T20:26:00.000-08:00

The souvenir adoring my cubicle

When I was fiddling with some stuff in my bag I happened to find something. It was something like a souvenir for me of one of the greatest experiences this season. This something was a laminated paper cap used by me for protection from the mighty Apollo. It carries an emblem, with has our three lions and an eagle flying just below them. Yes, no points for guessing… It’s the emblem of our Air Force… Bharatiya Vaayu Sena…

This cap came into my possession when I had been to see the Aero India Show – 2007. It was a Sunday and unlike usual Sundays, we got up rather early and by 9:45 we were in the parking. We had to wait for some of our friends as they were late. Luckily we entered the air field just in time for the majestic show. Since IAF is celebrating its platinum jubilee, it was a special aero show. It was special in many aspects as well. We will come to that in a moment… As we were entering the air field, one of the IAF soldier gave us these caps. We took our caps and went ahead hoping to find some place to watch the show. We didn’t believe what we saw. All the front rows were filled and everyone was standing on chairs to see the runway… Be a roman in rome and thus we followed the crowd and did the same thing….

The show was kicked off with the beautiful display of stunts by the saras helicopter group. My friend was timely in pointing out that Indian helicopter pilots are on par or even better than any others in the world and was also quick to point out that unfortunately our fighter plane pilots don’t have that status… The display of SARAS was mind blowing. I just mentioned about this aero show being special… Firstly I was present there (Yes I am still a narcissist) and secondly never were so many foreign planes shown in aero India show before. We saw the agile F-16. Nothing in the whole show could beat the maneuverability of this American killing machine. It was the sleek, fast and very very agile… I would say it looked like the best in the business. We saw Graffin (Not sure of the spelling) a Sweden make I guess… It was fast… It was so fast that I missed its photo 5 times before I got the timing just right to capture it. It was a super sonic and was really loud!!! We also had the FA-18. They were good. There were many other foreign aircrafts. One more was Mig-35, the newest and the mightiest of all the foreign planes that flew in the exhibition. However it looked too bulky and wasn’t even half as impressive as F-16.

Graffin finally caught on camera

Then there were the Indian exhibits (the planes that are part of the IAF). Finally we saw a fully functional LCA!!! I must say, it was really impressive. It is small, very small… My friend made a comment that it is completely indigenous etc etc… The other said, it is not even 1/10th as impressive as F-16 (ya we were absolutely awed by the American killer) and it was almost 10 years older to LCA. However I was impressed by LCA. It looked cool!!!! It was interesting to note that IAF has the lightest aircraft LCA and also the heaviest SU-30 in its quiver… The SU-30 is gigantic and very very loud… It looked very muscular and was a great sight to watch it fly by….

LCA - Indias Pride

Catching the LCA.....

By the time these planes were done, we were drained out. Without breakfast, just 2 Munches to munch on and standing in the grueling heat had taken its toll… But then all this was worth the experience we had. Content, we went looking for something to eat. We had assumed that the second part of the show is just a repetition of the morning show. We were so so wrong… Luckily we did ask one of the IAF officers and got to know that it was a whole day show. So we hogged on something and resumed our places on the chairs… As the second session started, I saw that the same planes were coming again and for some reasons all my energies were renewed and I started cheering for just about everything!!! I got some stares and glares as if it really mattered… I was getting bored when suddenly the announcement came….
It was the Suryakiran team which was to perform…. A group of 9 aircrafts which perform unbelievable air stunts which bring ones heart to his mouth… It was the best thing that we had seen the whole day… It was dangerous, it was thrilling, it was chilling and above all neck breaking for the spectators as the Suryakirans flew all around painting the sky in Indian tri-color. Man in not born with the ability to turn his head 360 degrees. It was a serious disability while watching the Suryakirans fly by… I can just go on and on, on the stunts they performed… But words are just words. You need to be there to believe it… You need to be there to feel it…. With a renewed sense of pride we returned from that show….
IAF really rocks!!!

Suryakirans...

Best of 2006....

2007-01-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

You might have heard of the movie “Abhay”, as I am sure you wouldn’t have seen it after reading its review. I did watch it; Kamal Hassan (KH) is my favorite actor and people sometimes say I resemble him!!! Well whether I do or not, I enjoy his acting…
So I watched Abhay and also read about it… Rather it was the opposite, I read and then I watched the movie… In the interviews about Abhay, KH tried to substantiate his usage of cartoons. According to him, cartoons are the most violent creation of man; the most melancholic way of expressing something. You see his movie and you do feel that way. You must have read “You said it”. It is also dark. Seldom do popular cartoon strips have beautiful messages. In a way it makes sense also using cartoon to express things that you need to. It is a nice way to vent out your feelings without directly pointing fingers at anybody, “After all it is just a cartoon” is the bottom line.
So with these thoughts in mind, I tried my hand with cartooning. Well, I am not that greatly creative. So I didn’t create my own cartoon and even if I had done it would take time for that character to become popular. But I can make 1 + 1 = 2. So, I decided to use my favorite cartoon characters “Calvin” and his friend “Hobbes” to make the “2” I was talking about. The expressions were Watterson’s but the expressed views were mine…. I tried to use Calvin’s beautiful wide varied expression to express my ideas, my views and my state of mind…. I really thank Bill for giving us the most creative and so expressive and the so mysterious Calvin!!!
Unlike Bill, my canvas was the company white board which I painted with markers copying the expressions of Calvin to match the view I wanted to express on that given day.
Here are some that are my best of 2006…

2nd Nov 2006:
Notes: This is after I had to do a work around to fix a problem. The actual solution would take longer, but we had to do it fast. Hence this…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4th Nov 2006:
Notes: This was on the 3rd consecutive Saturday when we had to work….

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7th Oct 2006:
Notes: We had to work on another Saturday, because of the Belgaum problem.

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7th Nov 2006:
This was when I had to work in excel continuously for 4 days!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9th Nov 2006:
This was done for 2 reasons,
a) One of my friends got a great GRE score
b) Another friend had a great summers placement

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17th Nov 2006:
We had to put in loads of extra hours of work. Hence this…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

27th Sep 2006:
Against gandigiri….

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

13th Dec 2006:
Well when I realized capitalism has its flaws….

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11th Dec 2006:
After Code Olympics – A 24 Hour coding extravaganza….

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20th Dec 2006:
I was held on gun point to say something good about the fairer sex. Being a feminist I could have, but then Calvin needs to be a bit sarcastic… That’s his style!!!

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24th Nov 2006:
This was when I had to redo some amount of code due to a process called transporting of code…

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Happy New Year..... Have a great year ahead!!!

The Self-sustaining Matrix...

2006-12-26T19:46:00.000-08:00

Is it necessary that what we want we never get, or is it that we never like what you get?
What is the actual thing? I mean you sit and wonder and all you can see is No Color!!!
You hear thing like “Life is full of obstacle illusions” etc etc…
Is it that, our life is a matrix created by the complexity of the society around us?
Is it that these supposedly illusions are the actual things after all as we also live in a matrix and thus we never are able to overcome these?
Why this inertia….. How can I free my mind…. How can walk the path instead of knowing it….
When will I stop plagiarizing and think something of my own and write something of my own….

Too many questions and so few leads and so few answers…..

It is true when my friend said this… Amrut…. R u a rut by character… I defended saying no way!!
But come to think of it, the only I can think of right now is Black and ladies and gentlemen “black is no color!!!”
We have loads of unanswered questions in the initial paragraph; the most important being “is it that we never get what we want?”
Most people agreed with me when I said the answer to this question as “yes”; the most important thing being that their faces also frowned just like mine.
I asked the same question to my dearest friend Antara. She also agreed with it but there was an orangey twist in it (you got that right!!! taken from Smirnoff…).
She said that with a BEAUtiful smile on her face. That opus of a smile was mind blowing and enthralling, but then was indeed surprising.
Antara who can sense even the change in my pulse, gave me one of her smiles when I need to ask her specifically what I need to know.
So I ventured, “Darling, I am entitled for an explanation of the enthralling experience I had. So please will you?”…
With her usual composure, she started explaining…
“See my dear, man does live in a matrix created by himself; a matrix which has the complex society and his aspirations in it. The great men, the creators of these societies were very smart.
They created this matrix in such a way that a person should always dream of achieving something new, something better than what he has. So my dear in doing so, an illusion, which is not much of an illusion though as you rightly pointed out, is created where all think that they can’t get what they want and that’s the way the society is; the matrix is. But this very nature of the matrix is what is self sustaining and helps in the continuous and astronomical growth of the society and thus the individual. So if you get what you want, or rather you are “satisfied” with what you get the society will never grow!!! Hence the sense of no color is actually a beautiful realization of the fact that we can’t stay rut in this matrix created by us. We need to look for colors, more colors and more colors…..”
Just as she finished saying this a song started playing in my mind…
“
I see life and it's passin' right before my eyes
And the past is the past don't regret it, time to realize
…..
……
It don't matter where it takes me
Long as I can keep this feeling runnin' through, my soul
……
…..
Oh oh oh ohohoh -- destination unknown
Won't be coming back this way gotta go it alone
Oh oh oh ohohoh -- destination unknown
….
….
“

Anarchy 99

2006-11-07T06:36:00.000-08:00

Ya, this word fell on his ears while watching XXX starring Vin Diesel. Democracy, he heard daily. The more he thought, the more the meaning of the latter in the current scenario progressed towards the former.
He had decided to do something about the conflicting meanings of Democracy.
On the 172nd page of the Webster’s (an old edition he had kept for sentimental reasons) he read,

Democracy: The political orientation of those who favor government by the people or by their elected representatives.

The meaning that he had experienced…

Democracy: Anarchy + government…

What an ironic concept democracy had turned out to be, a government practicing anarchy!!! He curtailed his urge to look up the meaning of Anarchy…..
He had felt helpless all throughout his life, where he had do things against his conscience. “Mr. Conscience is dead” was the phrase he quoted initially with lots of contempt and then it became a phrase he used to smile and say. He had risen in the social ladder very fast in the past 28months. His career was discussed all over the television; his books reviewed again, his interviews hosted live on sites… He was everywhere. Even though he enjoyed the importance for initial few days, once he realized what he had become he couldn’t avoid the depression. The big shot businessman, a philanthropist suddenly was appointed to be the “President of the Republic of India”, the first citizen of India… Some would say it was a great achievement. His misconception about this being an achievement surfaced as he read a bill which he was supposed to sign to be passed in the parliament house. It was the reservation bill again!!! He had seen the protests of 2006 against a similar bill. The gandhian protests didn’t really help other than making some news and taking lives of innocent patients waiting in Delhi Chikitsa Vidnyana Sunstha popularly known today as DCV the then AIIMS. The name was changed because the Delhi government said it wanted to avoid foreign language names!!! 20 years since that time and we are still talking about the same things. We still call ourselves a developing country. For god sake for how many more years we will still be a developing country!!! Today there was no protests maybe because… yes he remembered there was no such movie like RDB to provoke the agitation and that movie was already forgotten.
He was again at the crossroads in his life. Just like always, he decided to take the road less traveled, his tried and tested way to succeed. Here it was not his life but the life of billions of Indians at stake!!! The politicians had for once failed to see through him, the person they were going to put in charge of the worlds second largest army. But then, this alter ego of his had risen from the past again just 3 months back when he met the chieftains of the three armies. The ruthless, unflinching, calculating machine which didn’t take any half measures and every move was so calculated that it had to succeed.
Luckily the three chiefs were in complete agreement with him and he had the knack to convince even the demons if he believed in something. Operation Shuddhi had finally reached a stage where his dream would be made public. The whole of the armed forces including the police had been cleaned up. The plot of the coup was ready and from the next morning he would be solely responsible for whatever happens in India. He had to make some hard decisions, blood shed was a necessity and he was ready to do what it takes. Just then the phone rang….
“Vande Mataram”
“Vande Mataram sir”
“Update General…”
“The Parliament is clean sir with red blood. The zero hour session has been cleared of all the dirt. All the states have also been cleaned up. UP and Bihar were cleaned up faster than we thought though the ratio of deaths to surrender there, is more.”
“Sigh… Let there souls rest in peace”
“Operation Shuddhi phase II is a complete success sir”
“Hmmm… Phase III?”
“Troops have been mobilized for that. The rule books have been circulated in all corners of the country sir. All the rule books carry your signature”
“Hmmm… If everything goes as planned India will be a better place with no gender bias, no communal bias, no corruption and just growth. I hope history will forgive my, this act of violence. It was necessary to clean up the state before thinking of the revolution”
“You have our entire support sir”
“Thank you general. Please prepare for my speech in the morning. The press has been taken into confidence?”
“Yes sir. They were more than happy to comply”
“Hmmm… General…You and I, lets make India a better place to live. Vande Mataram”
“Vande Mataram Sir”

………
………………..

Epilogue:

The Rest is Future….

This work of fiction arose from the frustration that was created with what I saw all around me. Anarchy!!! Nobody follows the law. What is the point of education when the people who break these laws are all very very well educated? The saddest part of the education we get is that there is no ethics!!! Educated people lack ethics… Look at the irony!!! Don’t you feel sick to the stomach to be associated with such a community? I do. I am trying from my side not to break the law and persuade people who do not to. What I have realized is that, just some 100 people following the law and rest 10000 breaking it makes no sense. The people following the law are the outlaws in the society today. We need a revolution. Education hasn’t been able to give the desired result. So what do we do? Well, we can learn from history. A great ruler has a great dynasty of great people. I think we need something like that. It might sound very absurd. But monarchy is any day better than anarchy. If the monarch is like the hero of the fiction above, it will definitely make a difference. Well it has its downfalls. I know that. But I had to do justice to my brain. I had to document this idea that has been itching my grey cells since long time. It’s high time, some thing happens out of the box. This Democratic Anarchy has reached its peak already…. I hope the ridicule of the word called Law stops and there will be Light again on our beautiful sub-continent….

Finding Me…

2006-10-07T03:21:00.000-07:00

Bearing the Chaos, trying to belong
I walk along…
Then came order, out of the chaos
All beaming and glossed…

Finding me again as I relived my past,
“Skimming the Roads Tasting the Winds”
I found them again shadowed in my mind…

No grey hair to be fair
Yet I live again…
Not afraid to not belong
I walk along...

------------- Dead Phantom
---------------------Alive again...

RDB Revisted…

2006-10-04T23:56:00.000-07:00

I saw RDB yesterday again and cried again. What a movie!!! It makes you look so ridiculous and insignificant. I am really happy finally a good movie from India is into Oscars.
I could see this movie again courtesy Kannada Activist, The topewala Mr. Vatal Nagaraj and his followers. They had decided to have a Karnataka “Bandh”. By advertisement (read as threats etc) they had got the support of almost all unions and committees. Bangalore was absolutely closed. No food joints, no grocery shops, no panwalas were open. The height was, only Kannada channels were being broadcast on the cable!!! This was the epitome of support. Oh I forgot to mention the reason of the “Bandh”. It was the Belgaum Issue. I hope every one knows about it. The MES (Maharashtra Ekikaran Samiti) yet another group like the one Mr.Topevala heads. They want belgaum to be part of their state. Recently we have seen, states broken into two and thus new states springing up. Okay, let’s not digress. The reason why MES wants (the reason that it claims) is that Belgaum has a high population of marathi people. The Kannada Activists don’t agree to this as they say that it is an Integral part of Karnataka. So all this feud!!! Hey am I missing something here??? I guess not… Or am I?
Arey yes….I forgot to mention Belgaum is also a part of a supposedly great country named India!!! People have almost forgotten about that. Any MES activist doesn’t need a passport to enter Belgaum nor a person from belgaum or Bangalore needs the former to enter Mumbai!!! Why the fuss??? You see RDB and get so motivated to do something for this great country and then read the news paper to find these “Bandhs” being done. It leaves you so confused. On one hand you see movies like RDB and feel so great about India and then see the state of the politics and your vision gets distorted!!! What can you do? Ajay (RDB) says that you can join politics, ias, ips etc etc and change the things around here. Is it really possible? Pandey (RDB again) did try to join politics and you see what fate he ends up with!!!
The more I think, more I write the more distorted the view becomes. There is Chaos everywhere. Talking about Chaos, I am reading a book named Chaos. What it says is, there is some order even in Chaos. Can physics be applied to real life???
I am really confused…..

Inconsequential Existence

2006-09-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

Sitting in the blue bus,
I feel the rush
It’s neither the adrenal nor the blood.

I peep from the window
To get fresh air
It’s neither here nor anywhere.

Skimming the roads
Tasting the wind
Are deeds of the past now indeed lost.

Hoping to connect
I stand by
To be overlooked like a passer by.

I wait just wait
All along
Hoping that one day I’ll belong.

------------- Dead Phantom

Chauka...

2006-08-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

4 jobs I’ve had:

hmmm... Here you go...

Infosys

SAP

Tution Pamphlet ( I did this in 12th. I advertised the tution class i attended by distributing pamphlets all around the town. I got a discount in my tution fees :):):) )

4 films I could watch again and again:
I was not much of a movie buff until recently... The 4 i remember now...

Godfather (Part one)

Rocky II

Rang De Basanti

Dil Chahta Hai

4 places I’ve lived in:
Here I will use the houses that I have lived in...

Arunodaya (My home in dharwad)

Raghavendra Nilaya(My house in mysore)

528 Jayaram(My house in Blore during trainig)

001 Harsha Meadows(My house right now!!!)

4 TV series I like to watch:
I love watching TV...

Built for the Kill

Ballroom Bootcamp(this is the most recent that I am following on Travel and Living at 2100hrs)

Takeshi's Castle

Tom and Jerry

There are many more which can't be mentioned here due to social constraints!!! ;)

4 places that I’ve been on vacation to:

I will just mention the places that I have enjoyed the most

Kodaikanal

Waynad

Kolhapur

Mumbai

4 websites I visit everyday:

Google (lifeline...)

blogger

orkut

yahoo

4 books I’d love to read again and again:
I used to read a lot...

Godfather

5 point someone

Sherlock Holmes stories

Twist in the tale - archer(my fav)

4 favorite dishes:

Stuffed Bringal with lots and lots of masala dar curry prepared using red chilli and not green.

Huggi-gojju (Kinda of a kichdi... Prepared on special days)

Puran poli (This is a special sweet.. You can eat it with milk or a special kind of curry called "Amthe". It looks like a chapati. I usually like it with mango pickle.. My mouth is watering... bad tag!!!!!)

Pani puri!!!!!!!!!! I just love it....

4 places where I’d like to be right now:

Marine Drive mumbai!!!

Chamundi Hills

Waynad water falls that I visited.... I dont remember the name...

On my bike kissin the wind anywhere!!!! (Sadly after coming to blore I miss this exp a lot. This place is very very crowded!!!)

4 people I’m gonna tag:

Since Sid and I have common contacts, I am left with very few options!!!!

It is not about...

2006-08-29T03:33:00.000-07:00

It was ironic. Eyes closed he could see light; as he opened his eyes there was darkness all around accompanied with a frightening, chilling silence. He could hear his breathing. He had that dream again, the Big Dream as he loved to call it. It is said that what you dream is directly proportional to what is cooking in your grey cells whole day. Hmmm… then he must be thinking about it day in and day out. So can it be really called a dream? This world is divided into a dichotomy here; ones who say it is and the other who say it can’t be called a dream. Dreams are also symbolic of the sleeplessness, the insomnia one experiences. He hasn’t had a full night sleep for ages now.
He sits up and starts thinking again, what all he needs to procure to realize his dream. He makes a mental list again on his virtual palimpsest. The task he has done umpteen times.

There are so many things he needs to procure!!! He has stopped laughing as the Dream always eludes him. His basic instincts have also diminished. He again lies down trying to give the so needed rest to his body muscles. His mind still wanders, pondering on his elusive dream that he has been chasing.

He wonders, is his dream worth the hardships that he going through? Are his hardships for real? He is doing nothing but think or rather crib, that he needs this or that to realize his dream. Doing Nothing!!! It sends a chill down his spine. His inability, to procure things that will facilitate easier realization of his dream, is rendering him into a state where he is doing NOTHING, waiting for a miracle so that he gets what he needs. But then, he contemplates this idea again today. The syzygy of events around him made him rethink. Why can’t he stop doing nothing? Why should he wait for that miracle? There can be other ways to start off the solution to his problem. They might look tedious but nevertheless there will no stagnation!!! The oxidation of the brain metal will stop, opening up new doors and new tangents of thought… Yes, it is not about…

As this minute hint of the total realization hit him, he plunged into a beautiful deep sleep like never before….

My Obsession - The Godfather

2006-07-31T03:55:00.000-07:00

When people talk about me, almost all do mention my obsession for “The Godfather”.
My mobile ring tone is a symphony from the movie Godfather even I have Godfather written all over my bike!!!

Many people have asked me why? I myself have wondered why? I know it is not only to do with the movie. No doubt, being the most favorite movie of the world it must have something that has grabbed us all. But, when someone asks me to name one favorite scene from the movie, I fail to come up with that in an instant. I have to dig deep to come up with an answer. I am consistently inconsistent in this answer though. Seeing all this, I introspected my own obsession; The Godfather. Some interesting things came up all along this study.
Firstly, I am not obsessed with Godfather but the concept behind that. Godfather is a term used for a person who promises to take care of a child during Baptism and help bring up the child in a Christian manner. That is what the dictionary says. The key words in this definition for the case in point are, “promise” and “take care”. A person promises to take care of a child even though it is not his. He is an additional father for that child. God forbid if anything happens to the father, the child is not an orphan. He has his Godfather!!!
But, that is not exactly the concept that the term Godfather now points to. When you say Godfather you talk about Mafia. The Mafia or the Cosa Nostra… which means “Our Thing” in sicily a part of Italy from where this concept of Godfather which I am referring to comes up.
One definition of the Mafia that I liked the most was given by Sicilian ethnographer, Giuseppe Pitre, at the end of the 19th century:

Mafia is the consciousness of one's own worth, the exaggerated concept of individual force as the sole arbiter of every conflict, of every clash of interests or ideas.

This is the concept that I fell in love with. A sole arbiter, one person who is representative of power, of control, of respect!!!! A narcissist!!!
Many people hate this, this narcissism. I have discussed this with many of my elite friends and acquaintances. One statement of a particular discussion I would like to quote,

“Narcissism is good… A narcissist is a person who loves himself and knows what he is capable of. He is neither afraid nor intimidated by anyone. He never suffers from inferiority complex. Hence, he can appreciate whole heartedly good things in a person. He has no room for jealously and hence can non-egoistically appreciate what is good. He feels no fear when doing so”

This statement was made by another narcissist friend of mine, who is in IIM-A now. The concept behind godfather is also similar. He is supreme. If you listen to the music in the movie also, you feel that power. I might be exaggerating according to you, but it is true as far my mindset goes. There is one particular scene in the novel The Godfather by Mario Puzo, where the old dying counselor of the Don, asks him to order God not to take him. The counselor thinks at that moment that the Don, his Godfather is supreme than God himself. Only the Don knows better. And as if, the counselor was waiting for an order to die, he dies only when the Don tells him his work on earth is over and he may leave now.
This concept of power is what made me fall in love with the idea of Godfather. There is an interesting irony in all this, the man of power is soft spoken, he reasons before taking any action and is never harsh with words be it anyone even his enemy.

This quiescence, this Mystique and this Grandeur associated with the concept of Godfather is what made it my obsession!!!