Feb 28, 2007

Kahani Color Color ki…

The budget indicates another F******** year is over!!! Hey, it’s F for financial, what were you thinking??
That means again we have had our appraisals… Yes, the act of classification of someone with respect to ones worth.
Don’t stop reading now… I am not going to crib about my appraisal…
So why did I at all mention about it? All we do after appraisal is crib right???
Well to a great extent yes, but this cribbing comes in various sizes, shapes and colors depending on the intensity of the personality…
A rainbow is caused when the mighty Sun shines onto soft droplets of moisture. The same sun, the same water but 7 different colors…
Don’t go into physics and start analyzing the statements now, just read along to know the different colors of corporate cribbing after appraisal…

The Green Goblin…

In places where talking about % hike is not a crime (It is not in fact!!!), the green goblins are a common place.
Green symbolizes jealously and so does the green goblin’s cribbing style… In this style, the cribbing is triggered by the fact that, one has got more and one hasn’t. It is neither qualitative nor quantitative. Comparison is the key word in this style of cribbing and what is compared has no rules!!! Yes cribbing doesn’t need rules!!!!

The Red Crab…

These crabs are rare species and are scattered in all the environments irrespective of any pre-conditions. This kind of cribbing is characterized by extreme rage, shouting and making life sick for all those who are working with the crab. The read crabs are dangerous and almost always end the cribbing by changing their homes!!!

The Blue Whale…

These are the gentle giants and they are the most silent cribbers. They are the loyalists, the faithful and they are generally called Chu’s by the Crabs and the Goblins because of this attitude. In their style of cribbing, it is all self assuring talk. You hear statements like “It’s alright…”, “Money is not the ultimate goal…”, “He said I will get onsite…” and stuffs like… “Chodo yaar… Mast raho…” It is very difficult to predict the next step of these gentle giants…

The White Tiger…

The Tigers unlike the wild ones are the sufferers here. They are innocent by nature and are not able to comprehend why this has happened. They crib without any comparison unlike the Goblins. Their cribbing is all statistics, all numbers; Purely Qualitative and Quantitative. Their style is characterized by the sarcasm in their comments. They show the disappointment in a polished way. But under this polish lies a beast that might be unleashed at any time. Once that beast is unleashed, God help the guys on the other side of the line!!!

The Chameleons

These are the funniest of all the cribbers. These chameleons are not sure whether whet they have got is good or bad… So they take the color of the species around them, be it green, red, blue or white… They just follow. They generally don’t feel anything about what has happened and manage to sleep calmly even though they have cribbed whole day!!! They are generally harmless…

The Black Crow…

Black is no color and hence this is the darkest cribbing you can find in the industry. These crows actually flock together and crib only when in company of any one of the above species… They hatch a plan and somehow by hook or crook always end up with good grades… But mysteriously nobody knows of their grades… These guys crib and crib as if they have got the worst that was on offer and all this is just part of their next game plan. They get all the inside stories and what all other species are thinking and sketch the map for the next year’s appraisal. They are the cold hearted players of the game. In fact they are the GAME the whole reason of all the confusion and colors!!!

So my dear readers, you saw the cribbing use of Irony here… English is a funny language, colors can signify joy… Colors can signify melancholy…
It is up to us to decide what we want them to represent…

P.S.
I thank the makers of K series for giving us titles which can be used so flexibly!!!

Feb 18, 2007

A Ride into the Danger Zone....

The souvenir adoring my cubicle


When I was fiddling with some stuff in my bag I happened to find something. It was something like a souvenir for me of one of the greatest experiences this season. This something was a laminated paper cap used by me for protection from the mighty Apollo. It carries an emblem, with has our three lions and an eagle flying just below them. Yes, no points for guessing… It’s the emblem of our Air Force… Bharatiya Vaayu Sena…

This cap came into my possession when I had been to see the Aero India Show – 2007. It was a Sunday and unlike usual Sundays, we got up rather early and by 9:45 we were in the parking. We had to wait for some of our friends as they were late. Luckily we entered the air field just in time for the majestic show. Since IAF is celebrating its platinum jubilee, it was a special aero show. It was special in many aspects as well. We will come to that in a moment… As we were entering the air field, one of the IAF soldier gave us these caps. We took our caps and went ahead hoping to find some place to watch the show. We didn’t believe what we saw. All the front rows were filled and everyone was standing on chairs to see the runway… Be a roman in rome and thus we followed the crowd and did the same thing….

The show was kicked off with the beautiful display of stunts by the saras helicopter group. My friend was timely in pointing out that Indian helicopter pilots are on par or even better than any others in the world and was also quick to point out that unfortunately our fighter plane pilots don’t have that status… The display of SARAS was mind blowing. I just mentioned about this aero show being special… Firstly I was present there (Yes I am still a narcissist) and secondly never were so many foreign planes shown in aero India show before. We saw the agile F-16. Nothing in the whole show could beat the maneuverability of this American killing machine. It was the sleek, fast and very very agile… I would say it looked like the best in the business. We saw Graffin (Not sure of the spelling) a Sweden make I guess… It was fast… It was so fast that I missed its photo 5 times before I got the timing just right to capture it. It was a super sonic and was really loud!!! We also had the FA-18. They were good. There were many other foreign aircrafts. One more was Mig-35, the newest and the mightiest of all the foreign planes that flew in the exhibition. However it looked too bulky and wasn’t even half as impressive as F-16.

Graffin finally caught on camera



Then there were the Indian exhibits (the planes that are part of the IAF). Finally we saw a fully functional LCA!!! I must say, it was really impressive. It is small, very small… My friend made a comment that it is completely indigenous etc etc… The other said, it is not even 1/10th as impressive as F-16 (ya we were absolutely awed by the American killer) and it was almost 10 years older to LCA. However I was impressed by LCA. It looked cool!!!! It was interesting to note that IAF has the lightest aircraft LCA and also the heaviest SU-30 in its quiver… The SU-30 is gigantic and very very loud… It looked very muscular and was a great sight to watch it fly by….



LCA - Indias Pride



Catching the LCA.....


By the time these planes were done, we were drained out. Without breakfast, just 2 Munches to munch on and standing in the grueling heat had taken its toll… But then all this was worth the experience we had. Content, we went looking for something to eat. We had assumed that the second part of the show is just a repetition of the morning show. We were so so wrong… Luckily we did ask one of the IAF officers and got to know that it was a whole day show. So we hogged on something and resumed our places on the chairs… As the second session started, I saw that the same planes were coming again and for some reasons all my energies were renewed and I started cheering for just about everything!!! I got some stares and glares as if it really mattered… I was getting bored when suddenly the announcement came….
It was the Suryakiran team which was to perform…. A group of 9 aircrafts which perform unbelievable air stunts which bring ones heart to his mouth… It was the best thing that we had seen the whole day… It was dangerous, it was thrilling, it was chilling and above all neck breaking for the spectators as the Suryakirans flew all around painting the sky in Indian tri-color. Man in not born with the ability to turn his head 360 degrees. It was a serious disability while watching the Suryakirans fly by… I can just go on and on, on the stunts they performed… But words are just words. You need to be there to believe it… You need to be there to feel it…. With a renewed sense of pride we returned from that show….
IAF really rocks!!!

Suryakirans...


Suryakirans...